im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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