guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
