i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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