What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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