I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
