How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
