Kiss
Puke
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
