Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
