Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
