Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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