Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
