Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
