I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
