Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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