K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
