Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
