Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
