i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
