Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
