youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
