So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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