Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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