even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm at about main and main street
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
