It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
