dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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