Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
