She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
