I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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