Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
