Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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