toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You ruined the universe
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
