Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
