so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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