Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
