Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
