Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
