"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
