dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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