The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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