i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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