Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
