ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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