The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
