Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
