come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
