Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
