A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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