I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I party with great urgency now.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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