I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dicks are not precious.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
