he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
