my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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